I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize