considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
i think my cat just said my name.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
