if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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