It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
