grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
