ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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