Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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