you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
