sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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