found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
