Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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