Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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