I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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