His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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