Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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