I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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