i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
