I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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