just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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