Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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