RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
