She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
