where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my vag is so smooth its legendary
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
