Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize