Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
