Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
