i jhust puked up my retainher.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
