I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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