i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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