Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize