The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
