If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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