I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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