So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
