yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
