I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
