I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
