Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
