TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Your penis caused this!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
