someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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