yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
