How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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