He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
