That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
