haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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