She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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