2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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