Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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