i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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