I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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