just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
