I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
