So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My vagina is very pro this idea
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
