when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
