FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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