What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We have so much sex to catch up on
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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