5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
