I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
