Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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