you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
