I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
