Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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