My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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