The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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