my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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