me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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