my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
