let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
