Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
