FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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