i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
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What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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