My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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