I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
His nipple licking is glorious
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