I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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