absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
