I hate all girls vehemently.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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