The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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