ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
