the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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