your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Randomize
